I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
