Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
