I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
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I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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