Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
