it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
