their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
