first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
