To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
