I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
