I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
