I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
