It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
