She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Acid is not a monday night drug
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
