and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
