she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
