Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
this hospital has no fireball
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
