well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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