Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
