my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
my liver is dry heaving
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