glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Sober January is a disaster.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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