I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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