remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
