i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
