Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
