I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
