Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
