What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
