He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
