You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
