So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
How's work?
Spinning.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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