remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
