I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
So many bounce houses so little time
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
