i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
