Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
