is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
