I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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