Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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