Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
