I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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