Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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