lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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