I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
