next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
