I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
