first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize