My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
