Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
