if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
