JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
