On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
