I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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