My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
