I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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