Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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