just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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