So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
