how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
