but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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