is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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