where am i from again
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We were destined to go to rehab together
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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