We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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