This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
